Categories
- Advertising (satire and humour) (4)
- Body (sad but funny) (8)
- Discoveries (comedy findings) (12)
- Family (comedy quotes) (7)
- Food (mouth humour) (6)
- Games (beyond comedy) (1)
- Internet (humour from the web) (4)
- Meetings (funny but wrong) (1)
- Sleep (the irony) (3)
- Society (bring on the sarcasm) (4)
- TV (oh the satire) (15)
Category Archives: Internet (humour from the web)
Wonders of the modern world
I just had a sudden rash of “penis enlargement” emails from Mexico. How on earth did the Mexican pharmaceutical industry know about my problem?
First someone in Romania emailed to advise they could whiten my yellowing teeth, then a guy in South Africa told me he knew how to reduce my weight, followed by someone in Canada offering me Viagra to keep me “hard as a bollard” all night. I don’t know how, but it seems like the whole world knows my most intimate problems and my email address!
Luckily I’ve had an offer of financial support from a very polite banker in Nigeria, so now I’ve sent him my bank details I should be able to afford all the pills I need. Shortly I will be able to temporarily blind innocent onlookers with my radiant smile, reduce my waistline to a size zero, and transform my shrinking pork sword into a weapon of mass destruction.
Thank goodness for the ease and security of electronic mail.
Find a thesaurus
Just browsing the BBC news website. You have to wonder what goes through the editor’s mind when they give the go ahead for an article title like this: “Sex crime suspect faces new probe”. Literally?
Mobile phones: the hidden dangers
I think there must be something wrong with my internet browser. I while back I visited a popular online shop and made a bizarre discovery. Whilst using the same shop to look at a new mobile phone I found that people who purchased the phone also went on to buy “Preparation H”. If these purchasing recommendations are to be believed you need a Swiss Army Knife to ensure orgasmic oral sex, and haemorrhoid cream following the purchase of a mobile phone. I knew about the chances of a brain tumor, but if you get piles from using a mobile surely you’re holding it wrong.
They didn’t mention this in sex education
When browsing a popular shopping website I somehow ended up looking at a book entitled “Oral Sex She’ll Never Forget: Positions and Techniques That Will Make Her Orgasm Like She Never Has Before”. I scrolled down to the bottom of the page to discover that customers who bought “Oral Sex She’ll Never Forget” also went on to purchase a “Swiss Army Knife”. Is this some sort of age-old secret I missed out on? If so, which part of the Swiss Army Knife do you use? The corkscrew? The chisel? Toothpick? I don’t have a copy of the book but I do already have a Swiss Army Knife, so maybe I should just experiment.